some days

I tend to forget how lucky I am. Isabelle and Will are healthy and happy and wonderful. I have a great job and a supportive nice husband. Why is it I can't be as good at appreciating these things as I should??? I wonder if there's something I can do to help Will and Is be more optimistic than I am, to not concentrate on the negative as much, and to enjoy the moment more.

The good news is they they have both helped me with this--and I am getting better. Last night I was rocking Will before I put him in his crib. He was warm and soft and snuggly. His hair smelled clean and he just melted into me. I stopped to enjoy that and to sear into my memory how good he felt and how much love I have for he and Isabelle.

There are so many things people prepare you for before you have kids. Some seem so obvious--the late nights, putting someone else first, learning to be covered in barf and pee and not be grossed out (although Will's last barf nearly made me sick...bile stench turkey chunks in slime...). But there are so many things you just cannot know, so many feeling, so much love and worry and wonder. Appreciate it--remember it--I am learning.